Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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