can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize