...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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