I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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