new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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