I wanna bring you to show and tell
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
