Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize