I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
