You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
