Your face is a jimmy john
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
