all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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