I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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