no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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