just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
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