She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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