Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
