idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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