My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
