he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize