Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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