Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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