Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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