Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
