You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
