Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
