Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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