just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
