Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
