every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
