Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
