A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
