So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
