I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
