So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
