I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
