I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
