after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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