so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
