why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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