hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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