He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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