Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
