Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize