I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
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