Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
