why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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