I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize