My liver just broke up with me...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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