and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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