i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Sex in the backyard? Check.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize