I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
