I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
