I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
