yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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