I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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