How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
