We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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