You can't motorboat a personality
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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