my phone needs a breathalizer
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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