Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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