You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
