but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
