bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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