he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Your shirt... Was in my pants
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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